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Luke and Lauren

Episode 5 of Series 3 of Don't Tell the Bride

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Luke and Lauren are madly in love.

I knew straightaway with Luke, he was the one.

Say hello!

The birth of daughter Poppy a year later sealed the deal.

Bless her.

With a new baby, it would have taken them years to save for the big day.

Wedding budget's non-existent, ain't it, at the moment?

Yeah, at the moment.

So we are giving them £12,000 to get married.

But there's a catch.

Oh, God!

They've agreed in the presence of a lawyer that Luke will organise the wedding alone.

Done.

They'll have absolutely no contact and the bride won't know a single thing about her wedding until the big day in three weeks' time.

What if it doesn't fit me?

Will Luke make all the wrong choices?

There was decisions to be made and I made it.

Will he collapse under pressure?

I might go and lay on a bit of grass somewhere and do what I do best!

Nothing.

Not a lot.

Does he even know what's important to Lauren?

If I haven't got the Catholic Church on the day, I'm going to be absolutely gutted.

I'm going to be devastated.

Can this man give this woman a day she'll never forget?

I can't perform miracles.

I'm not Jesus.

Today, young Mum Lauren and baby Poppy are moving out of their house, leaving plumber Luke home alone.

Not seeing Poppy's going to be pretty fierce for me.

Cos I'm used to getting in from work and having a little cuddle and that.

The premature birth of Poppy left the newborn in intensive care for five weeks.

With her baby's life hanging in the balance, Lauren turned to the Catholic Church for comfort.

When Poppy was in intensive care, sort of praying every day and having my Catholic beliefs helped us get through the toughest time of our lives and now, to get married with those same beliefs, they would mean so much to me.

Not just because I want a massive traditional wedding but because having those beliefs are what, sort of, have made me, Poppy and Luke how we are today.

Luke doesn't share Lauren's faith.

He's a party animal whose spiritual home is the pub.

But the pressure is on for him to make sure the wedding is nothing like the engagement party.

It was one of the worst nights ever.

All guys together, getting drunk.

I thought it was brilliant.

Luke thinks it's all right to invite half of Wakering.

I'm saying my vows and I've got a blooming load of lager louts behind me.

Basically, Lauren don't want any of my mates.

No!

But it's all right because she ain't going to know, so I can invite who I want.

All right, Mumsy.

It's time for Luke and Lauren to say their goodbyes.

They've agreed not to see or speak to each other until the big day in three weeks' time.

I love you.

I love you as well.

I love you.

See you.

Make sure you do a good job.

Yeah, I will.

I'll see you in three weeks, yeah?

Don't blooming just play the Xbox.

I ain't gonna.

Promise?

Promise.

OK, I love you.

I love you.

You watch, I'll make you proud.

The next time they see one another will be at the altar.

I love you.

I love you, too.

See you in a little while, yeah.

Love you!

To help mastermind the wedding, Luke collects Dan, one of his two best men.

I don't know whether to go venue and then go church, or make church priority and then go venue.

Well, church is priority, isn't it?

Yeah.

We could swing by the church, speak to the vicar and say, "What is the plan?"

Like, "Do we need to book in advance?

Can you do it in three weeks?"

Unfortunately for Luke, Dan is no wiser when it comes to religion.

I'm not sure what they call the, like, vicar, priest, in a Catholic church.

It's got to be vicar.

I swear I've heard Lauren say "Father".

But then I can't remember if she might have been talking about her dad.

Luke's not a church-goer but he does know where Lauren prays every Sunday.

St Helen's Catholic Church in Southend.

Parish priest.

Parish priest.

Father Jean-Laurent Marie.

So, it's the priest and he's a Father.

Hiya, my name is Luke Hodges and I'm just ringing regarding weddings at your parish.

If you could give me a call back, please.

Thank you.

That's my telephone voice, you div.

I know, it's just you sounded like a tit, though.

Luke knows Lauren's dream day means a Catholic wedding, but he's miles away from the whole truth.

She's brought best friend and chief bridesmaid Hayley to Italy to show her the place she fell in love with as a little girl.

When I was seven, I was a bridesmaid for my auntie.

She got married in Caorle in Italy.

From that day, it's like 17 years ago, I've just…

That is exactly how I want to have my wedding.

It's just beautiful.

I've got all my inspiration all those years ago when I was just a tiny girl to now, and it's sort of stuck with me.

All right?

All right, mate.

At wedding HQ, Luke's second best man, Ben, is researching Catholic church wedding requirements.

Because of the time needed for preparation, we normally require at least six months' notice for the wedding.

Ah.

You ring them.

I've already rung one, left a voicemail.

As soon as I started talking, Dan started laughing at me.

A proper Stuttering Stanley.

Hello, can I speak to Father Tom, please?

I'm best man for my friend.

Obviously, as his girlfriend is Catholic, she has to get married in a Catholic church.

But the groom doesn't go to church, not practising the Catholic faith…

Well, if we can't get a Catholic church, can't we do it in a Church of England church?

No.

All right then, thanks a lot for your time.

Cheers, bye.

Hold on, hold on.

Well, what's he saying?

Basically, he said that he would be amazed if you can find a Catholic church that would do it in three weeks.

He said it's not going to happen.

LUKE GROANS I think we've hit a brick wall now, haven't we?

We've only been going 20 minutes.

For the past 17 years, devout Catholic Lauren hasn't dreamt of tying the knot in just any Catholic Church but the Madonna dell'Angelo Church in Caorle, Italy.

Oh, my God.

Amazing, isn't it?

I don't want you to get married in England.

Are you going to walk down the aisle?

Come on, with you and Poppy.

It'll be like this.

Because Lauren goes to church every weekend, for her not to get married in a church, it's like supporting your local football team, going to all the games leading up to the Cup Final and then, when the Cup Final comes, not going to watch it.

Since her aunt's marriage and move to Italy, Lauren's been a frequent visitor to this traditional Italian church.

The memories I've got of coming here for so many years…

with my family here.

And it's just a beautiful place.

It's just so peaceful.

Calming.

Yeah.

Understanding the importance of her faith, the Catholic priest performs a blessing for Lauren and Poppy.

It's well emotional.

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN Thank you.

I'm going to cry.

She's crying.

I feel very blessed and very happy.

And now I feel like I can take on the next few weeks.

I feel like I've got a bit of faith back in Luke.

In Southend, Lauren's Catholic church wedding looks like it's biting the dust.

Believing any church is better than no church at all, the boys are considering other options.

In a Church of England church, do they only marry Christians?

Cos that one at the end of the high street's a lovely church.

The high street?

But that's Church of England.

There is still a glimmer of hope for Lauren's church wedding.

It's just at the end of the high street but it's not Italian and it's not even Catholic.

Ultimately, she'd like any church.

Whether it's Church of England or Catholic, I don't think it's that much of a big thing to her.

If this don't work…

I might pick this spot out now.

You'd look good over next to that tree, mate.

No, it's not open.

With no-one around, Luke reverts back to his original plan.

Having heard nothing from the priest of Lauren's local church, he decides to pay him a visit.

Hello, there.

Hiya.

Nice to meet you.

My name's Luke.

Luke?

Yeah.

My partner is a member of your parish.

Right.

I was hoping that maybe you'd be able to marry her here.

Right.

Let's see.

Have you got a date?

Well, I only get three weeks in order to organise the ceremony.

Oh, my goodness.

I know.

From now?

Yeah.

Usually, we ask at least a minimum of six months' notice.

It does say on the church notice board.

I understand.

I needed to talk to you because it's such a massive thing for Lauren…

For the whole church thing, obviously, with her faith and that.

I'm sorry to be putting you under this sort of pressure but…

I don't know.

Luke, I mean, it would depend on permission and the special dispensation from my bishop.

Are you Church of England?

No.

I haven't been christened.

You haven't been baptised at all?

No.

All right.

I'd need to definitely talk to the bishop's office.

Get the permission.

I'm going to write "wedding?"

here, and say your prayers.

I will.

Don't worry.

I'll get the best men, the family, everyone'll be praying.

Cheers.

It's hard work trying to get married in a church.

I can't perform miracles.

I'm not Jesus!

He doesn't have to be able to walk on water, but with three days gone, he does need to nail a venue.

With time running out and no word yet from the Bishop, Luke decides to press on with plan B - a venue for a civil ceremony.

It's quite short notice.

All right, then, thank you for your help.

Cheers.

Bye.

Right, they're booked.

She said Gosfield Hall.

See what this is saying.

It's nice.

Disregarding Lauren's love of all things Italian, Luke is phone-bashing quintessentially English stately homes.

'Good afternoon, Gosfield Hall.'

Hiya, I was wondering if you could help me.

I'm just ringing to see the availability of the hall to have a wedding in.

It's a bit short notice.

It would be Thursday 2nd July.

Luke's only seen the venue online but a small detail like that's not going to hold him back.

Can I…

Can I book that, then?

Oh no, the phone's gone dead.

How can you…

You can't make that up, can you?

She's going to think I've hung up on her or something, ain't she?

Oh, as if.

Cheers.

To not organising a wedding.

Less stress.

In Italy, Lauren and bridesmaid Hayley can't help wondering what Luke's achieved so far.

I've got no inkling of what he's been up to.

I am slightly worried that I haven't heard from him.

Obviously, he's got a lot to do.

He would have had to find the place first, so then he can get the invitations and send them out.

If he doesn't do that, they're not coming.

I think he'll either really just be like, "Whatever.

What happens, happens."

Really laid back.

Or he'll be really determined and be like, "I've got to do it."

Luke could be brilliant at this.

Or he could be really bad at it.

All we can do is pray, Hayley.

Luckily for Lauren, it's not just down to Luke.

Best man Ben's muscled in and convinced the groom he needs to see the wedding venue before he actually books it.

They're heading to Gosfield Hall, a very English stately home built in 1545.

It's a little bit tasty, isn't it?

This imposing venue hosts over 200 weddings a year.

Oh, my God, she would wet her knickers if she could see this, wouldn't she?

Lauren's not interested in grandeur.

She wants a wedding with the personal touch.

She's brought Hayley to her ideal venue, Doolio's restaurant near Venice, where her aunt's wedding reception was held in 1992.

It's lovely, isn't it?

It's beautiful.

It's just everything about it, like cos it's a family-run restaurant.

It's just so sentimental and…

real.

In the country…

Luke's bowled over by Gosfield Hall.

Lauren's gonna love this, strutting her stuff down here, ain't she?

I like it.

But if Lauren walks down this aisle, she'll be having a civil ceremony performed by a registrar, and not her dream church wedding.

From the bride's perspective, it's got that runway, ain't it, for her to…

? Take off.

Take off.

It's an isle!

Yeah!

Yeah, runway!

We had this bit of the restaurant for my auntie's wedding, this whole bit.

Everyone just sat together and just had loads of wine and, like, all the different courses, it was just…

amazing.

Like, you know at weddings, your auntie's sitting over there and your best friend's over there?

This way, we'd all be together.

This is just classic Italian, authentic.

This is something that means something to me, so…

it's like…

I just love it.

Ah…

Lauren, she'll love the whole over-the-top aspect of it, you know.

It's off the rails, innit?

He might pick an amazing venue that costs thousands, but if there's nothing in it that's personal to us, then…

it doesn't really mean that much, does it?

I think this is a really nice place.

Yeah.

Definitely.

I think it's turning Luke's head away from the church.

Dilemmas, dilemmas, dilemmas.

I think Lauren would be quite happy to get married here, cos of how nice it is.

It would make up for her not having a church.

It makes me feel a bit upset, because I know that a stately home's nothing in comparison to this.

This is just everything I could ever want.

Right now it seems a stately home is exactly what Lauren is going to get.

Based on 80 three-course wedding breakfasts, your tea and coffee, and then 110 covers of the evening buffet, it comes at just under £6,500.

Right.

That's more than half their total wedding budget, whether the ceremony is held here or not.

Can we give you a decision by tomorrow morning?

We would ideally need a decision…

sort of…

now.

Luke's hand is being forced.

The venue needs a decision before he's heard back from the priest.

And there's no way you can let us go and have a couple of hours or nothing, no?

I would need you to make a decision before you go, really.

What time do you shut?

And we'll let you go before you shut.

We're here till nine tonight.

Can we let you know by nine?

You are pushing it, yeah!

Should I stay or should I go?

We can't meet the priest till ten tonight, but I've got to let this lady know by nine.

Part of me is wanting to just say, "Sod it, let's book it."

Just for convenience, just so then I've got a venue booked.

Back at home, the boys are starting to feel that any decision is better than no decision at all.

At least if the priest says no, we've guaranteed got a wedding.

We can't really lose this.

The only thing is…

is it's six-and-a-half grand, and we're gonna have to budget everything else.

We're going to ring Gosfield Hall, and we're going to…

Say that we want it.

Whether it's reception, civil ceremony, it don't really matter.

Hello?

'Hello, it's Susie.'

Hi, Susie, all right?

Yeah, we're gonna go for that.

Decision one made, a very English stately home hundreds of miles from Italy.

The pressure's now on for Luke to pull off Lauren's religious ceremony.

If I'm totally honest, if I haven't got the Catholic Church on the day, I'm gonna be absolutely gutted, I'm gonna be devastated.

Hiya!

Sorry to be a bit of a pain at this time of night.

Come in.

Thank you.

Lovely, cheers.

Well, I had a word with my bishop, I spoke to him.

Yeah.

And, erm…

he…

To be honest, he said he didn't warm to the idea.

Yeah.

But…

he said that the decision is with me, he won't mind if we go ahead with it.

So you're gonna have to make a commitment in the next two weeks to come here at least four or five times.

Definitely, yeah.

Where I can gen you up on what you're doing as far as the Catholic Church is concerned.

I'm 100% committed to…

to doing whatever I need to do.

I'll see you on Sunday, won't I?

Sunday, yeah, that's a date for sure, definitely!

All good, all good!

Today has been a bit of a mad one.

I've gone from having, like, no church, no venue, and now I've got church, venue sorted, so the ball's rolling.

So I've got to start getting my bum to church every Sunday now.

..

Now I'm a believer…

The girls have little faith in Luke's ability to pick their outfits, but it's not just the wedding dress that's bothering them.

They're strung out on what the bridesmaids are going to wear.

The only worry now is the dresses.

I want to get everybody's exact measurements.

Bust, waist, hips, exact shoe size…

How do you do that?

I feel like it's on me to get the right size for everyone, which is ridiculous, because everyone's a different height, everyone's a different size.

Would you be worried if this was you, round the other way?

I'm the bride, how do you think I feel?

I'm really worried.

I'm not trying to put pressure on you but…

I feel pressurised.

It's, like, so important.

A week into his planning, and with only the church and venue booked, the pressure is all Luke's.

But he's not feeling it.

He's rounded up 27 of his mates for an early celebration - his stag do.

How do you know, like, Luke's the one?

With God as my witness, from our first date I knew I'd marry Luke.

Some people say that after marriage, the sex goes downhill.

Do you think it does?

When you've met the right person, you shouldn't stop making an effort, no matter what.

If you love them, you'll do that.

When people stop making the effort, that's why they split up.

They don't keep it fresh.

So many people tried to put me off of him.

Do you remember, in the beginning?

Yeah, loads.

Now who's got the last laugh?

It's most definitely me.

That's how much you love him.

Look, you're proud to be with him, in't ya?

I love him to bits.

The stags have clubbed together and bought Luke an early wedding present.

INAUDIBLE Give me your hands, put them up.

Oh, what's that white there?

! Let go, put your head up.

I'll tell you what, this man's a lucky man, mate, a lucky man, mate.

I love my Lauren and I'll tell you what…

He's got a very nice girl.

300 fat birds couldn't make up for Lauren, not even Lauren's little…

No-one could make up for Lauren, could they?

Not even Lauren's little toe.

I love you!

Back on home soil, Lauren's settling in with Mum Christine, but the wedding's still uppermost in her mind.

It's just lace crystals, that, a train…

It's just too much, isn't it?

I know I'm really hard to please with my dress.

There could be a dress I love, but I can still find something about it that I don't like.

I don't like that.

I don't like this bit at all.

If I'm totally honest with myself and with everybody, if I don't like the dress, I'm not gonna wear it.

There's no way I'm gonna sit back and look at my wedding photos and watch the wedding video and be like, "Oh, my God, I looked horrendous."

Facing his toughest challenge, Luke heads to bridal shop Chantilly Lace in Southend.

What I want, she's got a good figure, my girlfriend, so I want something that's gonna hug her figure.

I'm thinking sexy but stylish, do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't want sexy but…

We've got to keep it tasteful, haven't we?

That's the word I was looking for, tasteful.

So I was just hoping that you could show me some stuff and we could go from there.

OK.

Lauren has no say in her wedding dress, but a girl can dream.

She's brought bridesmaid Hayley to her favourite shop, Bridal Boutique, which specialises in simple, elegant gowns.

Hi!

Are you coming to look around on some dresses today?

Yes, please, yeah.

OK, I really want nothing over the top, not too much bling or sequins, just quite, sort of, a classic, stylish, Audrey Hepburn kind of look dress.

That's the type, that's what I want.

Have a look, then.

OK.

What you think of this one?

Yeah, I'll try that on.

It's not got too much sparkle on.

Yeah, that's not got nothing, has it?

That's quite…

I like that.

There's this one, this is a nice lace one.

This is very figure-hugging, it's a softer one.

Yeah, I like that.

Do you think she'd like lace?

Yeah, I think she would.

What about lace?

How do you feel about lace?

It's the satin underneath with the lace overlay.

Oh, that looks like a tablecloth.

I'm just not sure about the fabric.

It's got two layers, which I always said I didn't want.

It's got lace, two layers, then it's got all diamante there.

Too bling for you.

I've got such a…

Just understated, that's what I want.

You don't want the dress wearing you, do you?

I've never thought of that and that's exactly what I mean.

Luke's only seen three dresses, but already he's fallen in love with a double-layered lace dress with beads and sequins.

I do like that, yeah.

Do you?

You've got a few little sparkles on there.

Yeah.

She's gonna love that, really, isn't she?

It's making me just want to buy it, just to do it now.

But I can't, really, can I?

We've got to have a look in another shop.

For Lauren, it's all about understated elegance.

Told you!

She's fallen in love with a simple white satin gown.

Lovely, isn't it?

It's plain, all one material, this is not too much.

Oh, it's just lovely, isn't it?

There's not too much veil here, plain little veil.

You look stunning.

You do look Italian.

I love it.

How much is that one?

That's 995.

I can't really just buy it, I need to go and get a bit more of a better idea.

Have a think, you know it's here…

We've only seen three dresses.

Yeah, I've seen three dresses, I can't just get it after 15 minutes of looking, can I?

We'll go and have a look, but if anyone does come in, don't let 'em buy it.

I'll hold it especially for you, then.

Oh…

It's just nothing, isn't it?

It's just plain…

It's what I've been trying to describe, I love it.

It's so nice, isn't it?

Don't dwell on it.

I know, this is gonna make me ill.

Some people call me the space cowboy…

No, I just reckon this could be the one.

You've fallen in love with that little figure-hugging dress, haven't you?

Yeah!

Sexy little number!

Yeah.

Yeah…

I won't have seen her for three weeks, so sexy's good!

Right…

stored.

Thanks for your help.

You're welcome.

Bye, dress, love you.

Say I'm doing you wrong, doing you wrong…

I could just make it really easy, couldn't I?

Just go in there and get it.

I like it, I think she's gonna like it, it's within the budget.

If you wanna go and buy it, mate, go buy it.

Cos I'm a picker, I'm a grinner

I'm a lover and I'm a sinner…

Ah!

It's on you, mate, you're the one that's…

We'll go to a few more shops, it don't matter.

For a bride to let the groom pick the wedding dress is such a massive, massive thing.

I just don't want to see another one and then be, like…

What if the other one you see is better than that?

Yeah, but I won't know if I ain't seen it.

So you're saying ignorance is bliss.

Yeah!

Do you understand what I'm saying, though?

I'm putting so much trust in him, he'd better have done it already, because that is such a big deal to me, and he knew that, it was so important to me.

Sod it, I'm gonna go and get it.

Well, that's on you.

And I hope to God he's really looked around and found the perfect dress.

The dress sorted in 18 minutes!

That's how I roll!

Go on, then.

Go in there and sort it.

Cos I'm a picker, I'm a grinner…

Y'all right?

Hiya, hello.

Back again.

That's saying something, ain't it?

So you've made your mind up?

I think I made my mind up as soon as I looked at it.

And it's not just the dress that Luke's choosing quickly.

He's also thrown in a tiara and veil.

We're all done, really, then, aren't we?

It's 1,339.

Right.

Yeah, that's lovely.

My God, what if it doesn't fit me?

Don't go too high with the shoes, cos it is a tight dress.

Remember that.

That is easy to remember.

About the size of a party sausage, yeah?

They're normally, like, a 12 to a 14 and I am only, like, a 6 to an 8.

How are they going to make a size 14 dress a size 8 in one day?

Does she need any special underwear or anything?

You might be better to go for what is called magic knickers.

Magic what?

Magic knickers?

I would show you mine but I'd rather not.

Nice try.

I am just going to have to wear a dress that is tacked together and look stupid.

I think I am just going to have the afternoon off, make the most of this sun.

I might go and lie on a bit of grass somewhere and do what I do best.

Nothing.

Not a lot.

Almost two weeks into the wedding planning and Luke has spent nearly £8,000 but he still hasn't got rings, transport or bridesmaid dresses.

THEY GROAN He has lavished time on making a DVD invitation for Lauren's hen night.

What is this?

Oh, my…

He has even decided the attention-grabbing dress code - leotards and leg warmers.

We may as well be naked.

I can't believe he's going to let me go out dressed like that.

Oh, my God, this is so funny.

Mum, it doesn't say where I am going.

I don't really want to attract attention to myself but I am going to do it and might as well do it properly.

137.

Thank you.

Luke is finally knuckling down and purchasing all those wedding essentials.

So far, he hasn't chosen a colour scheme.

If I was to call you before and you could put the coloured ribbon round it?

A trip to the florist sorts that out.

I think silver for the bridesmaids will be really nice.

That's suits done.

In there at four, out by quarter past five.

That is four times longer than it took Luke to choose Lauren's dress.

Someone's at the door.

It is Lauren's hen do but Luke's calling all the shots.

Have you booked a party bus?

Hi.

Brilliant, are we ready girls?

She has absolutely no idea where she is going.

Don't wait up, Mum.

It's Luke!

Luke has planned for the party bus to take the hens to central London and Hayley has the details.

We are going for dinner and then we are going to Strawberry Moon.

You lot are mental.

We're going to the chapel and we're gonna get married!

It is all going according to Luke's plan.

The hens are attracting maximum attention in London's Leicester Square.

We might as well be naked.

This is awful.

Lauren is not happy.

I'm sorry, I just feel…

I am dressed like this in the middle of Leicester Square, I don't feel comfortable at all.

I am not going to have a good night.

I would rather go back to town.

I feel like I want to slap someone and say, "Stop looking at my bum."

The girls decide to ditch Luke's half-baked hen night and head home to continue the party.

I am so happy to be back in the Southend.

I am having such a good night.