...on it. Fat people. In wheelchairs. I'll cope. Her fringe got all sweaty. Oh, Jesus! I'll be hideous! The hot doctors won't like me! I don't think many...

...Slow, rhythmic opening of the uterus, to Orinoco Flow by Irish chanteuse Enya. Sail away, sail away, sail away Sail away, sail away, sail away. Right....

...My God. He actually thought I knew what I was talking about. She's gone all Heather Mills, she has. Right. I'm gonna phone and schedule my second...

...Donna wants it all sophisticated. She's got really posh tastes. She loves Il Divo and won't even eat pies from the tin. And I suppose my plastic...

...who's got a job interview. Me! Right, you lot, wish me luck. I'm off to that London! To get a proper top chuffing well-paid new job, like. London? Will you...I'm off to that London! To get a proper top chuffing well-paid new job, like. London? Will you

...That's a photo of Gaz. Jonny's favourite photo of Gaz. And this. That's Gaz's T-shirt. Jonny's favourite T-shirt of Gaz's. For the last time… Oh, Munch!...is too hard. Let's just chuck everything out. Wait, wait, wait! Look. Jonny's T-shirt! You can'

...leaving you with a rare and potentially fatal dose of African Death Face? My God, you're like the Picasso of bullshit artists. Here's what you do. Walk...before the bat hits the frying pan, if you catch my drift. Erm, OK, then. My God. He actually thou

...learning and letting strangers look at your fanny. Louise, this is serious. Childbirth is the most painful experience you'll ever have to go through. Yeah,...I… I'm sorry, I forgot and my taxi's… Anyway, you don't need one of those. Childbirth's a

...be my birthing partner. Oh, Louise, I… I'm sorry, I forgot and my taxi's… Anyway, you don't need one of those. Childbirth's a piece of piss. You said it...

...Gaz's T-shirt. Jonny's favourite T-shirt of Gaz's. For the last time… Oh, Munch! Ah, I slept like a horse. By which I mean standing up. Oh, my God! You...a bit. Then I stood up. Now it's toilet time so I'm going for another squat. Munch, it's dead ea

...is the best thing a friend could do! Don't mention it. I'm sure that you and Corinthian and Louise will be very happy in Gaz's flat. I can't believe it....have a clear out. For you. Good. Now give us a hug. No way, bum hands. See, Corinthian? It's not

...Slow, rhythmic opening of the uterus, to Orinoco Flow by Irish chanteuse Enya. Sail away, sail away, sail away Sail away, sail away, sail away. Right. My...Everybody's in the car, so come on, let's ride… Nope, no good. OK, then. Sail away, sail away,

...on the streets turning tricks. She's got a baby, you can't just turf her out. Janet, we would like to… buy your house. Really? 'Fraid so. Oh, Donna, that...Donna. This lot, it's all I've got to remind me of Jonny. That's a photo of Janet. Jonny's fav

...Look, Gaz, I think we should… We need to swap T-shirts. What? But this is… Mine! You know it is. And this… this is yours. I'm going to need some help....

...Let's get those contractions started. Slow, rhythmic opening of the uterus, to Orinoco Flow by Irish chanteuse Enya. Sail away, sail away, sail away Sail...

...washed it. Ooh, another contraction! Oh, God, it's actually happening. Thank God I've got my birthing partner. 'I'm here for you, Louise, unlike...